Sunday, July 27, 2014

Pipe: Instrument of Pure Chaos & Mass Destruction.

Photo by: Ruthless Photography
Okay Metal Heads, time to pull up a seat and fasten your safety belt for a band of musical assassins. First, let's examine the word "Pipe" for a moment, shall we? According to the Oxford Dictionary, its definition: (n). A channel supplying goods or information over long distances. Not once did Oxford suggest that this could be used as a dangerous weapon nor applicable smoking apparatus for tobacco or other illegal substances for that matter. Having your teeth smashed with a lead pipe by a mob of vicious skinheads could ensue your worst fears, as you try to escape the clutches of a deadly beating. Next, an exploding pipe bomb in one's mail box could be in fact, a bad day for everyone that lives in your neighborhood. When you think of the word Pipe, think of terror. Pipe dreams can be just as deadly as the vortex of stupidity, consuming your soul with false hope and empty promises. However, a local Chicago metal band, Pipe is on their way of living the American nightmare as they rape your mind with Adrenalin pumping energy.

Unlike your pretty-boy poser bands such as Avenged Sevenfold, Vampire Weekend and Testament, Pipe is not all about cheerful love songs, being buried alive or glittery demons.  It is not clear, however, why these bands are still around. And the time has come to rid this world of a traveling hoax of poorly performed music since the days of Poison and Stryper. Ah, but never mind all that. Let's get back on track for some in-your-face craziness, and loud screaming amplifiers that will ring your head full of booze and powerful music. "I met on Frank [Damiano] on Craigslist , explains lead singer, Steve Favarato. We got a few songs together and the band started playing on stage at an acoustic jam the first day we met." Stranger tails of bathroom stalls, stuck toilet paper on the bottom of a Doc Martin combat boot, and a few Bitch Slaps, Steve welcomed lead guitarist, Frank Damiano into the band. Greg Francis was their former bassist that offered some pretty wicked heart-thumping grooves, but was replaced by John, Sterba. "Greg is a great bass player, says Sterba. He adds, I didn't wanna come in and piss on his bass lines and mark my new territory, so I kept the original riffs and true sound of the music." Last but not leased, is Paul Brodlo (drummer) that make up the rest of this Chicago Alternative Power Metal Rock Band.

Songs such as "Fuck The What"  and "Shovel Mouth"  exploit a thrashy raw sound using simple, yet effective power chords from their first studio release titled: Shovel Mouth.  Only two days of laying down tracks,  Pipe massacres the melodies with speed and high precision in every note. "Rip Tide"begins with heavy guitar distortion, and transitions into a smooth and distinguished vocal range. Heavy bass thumping grooves add to this slow jazzy beat as you drift away into the sea of fear.  "I mostly play a five string bass, explaines, John Sterba. I wasn't on the first album with Pipe, but when I play live I use a four string '82 Hamer with a Mesa Boogie amp."  What John is trying to say,  a more traditional style is what it takes to get the job done for their malevolent range of insanity.  

Photo By: Ruthless Photography
In an interview with Sterba, I asked what it would take to get the job done to legalize marijuana if he were a liaison for the Pentagon or a White House official.  "I would use a pen and phone to legalize marijuana, says John Sterba. Then I would tax the fuck out of it," he adds. Yes sir, this could be a pretty good scam, and I think Sterba's plan just might work for those whore-beasts back in Washington D.C. The sadistic world of Heavy Metal Thunder will always be plagued by sparkly vampires, and should you see one joyfully dancing around in a mosh pit, grab some Pipe, and crush a skull or two. You'll be glad you did.